People will tell you to visualize a goal in order to get to where you want to go, that you need crystal-clear, defined, measurable objectives and an achievable pathway to attain them. I disagree. I don’t have a tangible goal…never did. Instead, I have the energy.

You should see my calendar, especially this time of year. My days have too many events scheduled and with each deletion, I get a dose of pleasure. On the other hand, when items on my to-do list are not complete, I feel a tinge of failure, and stress; it’s one more thing I have to do tomorrow, which is already jam-packed.

Grief is not reserved for the human species alone. Lions endure a rigorous grieving process that can last for over a month. These behemoth animals known to be the brawniest creatures on Earth mourn the loss of loved ones too. When finished moaning in anguish, the lions regain composure and tend to the business at hand: cleaning their cubs, hunting food, and frolicking with playmates. I do the same as I plummet deep into my grief and rise with a mission to heal. 

I always knew I would write a book but was stunted by fear after my first attempt in 2011. During a moment of crisis, I pulled up a fresh Word document and began typing away. I titled it My Life and wrote for one hour. I never added another word to that document. A decade later, after another moment of crisis which lasted three years, I again felt compelled to honor my soul’s intention and started writing while running on my treadmill—pencil to paper, earbuds in, music blasting a couple decibels above the recommended level for healthy consumption.

Go, go, go…I’m always on the move. Sometimes I need to relax and appreciate what I’ve done instead of rapidly moving on to the next thing. I use this time to acknowledge and appreciate the effort and stamina it took to get this far, and this thinking holds me over until it’s time to raise the bar. While relishing in this peaceful space, I take the opportunity to contemplate why I need to be in constant striving mode.

It’s no secret the world is aching for good energy. Shining my light benefits my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health, but more importantly, it encourages others to shine theirs. I consider shining my light to be a duty and an obligation when moving about the world. Good energy is contagious.

I’m an extreme person and can take healthy independence to a foolish, self-defeating place. My well-established trauma-induced fear response makes it easy to slip into detrimental self-sufficiency. Collaboration with well-adjusted, successful people is an excellent way for me to get out of my own way and proceed with assurance. God speaks through humans, and my messages for health and wellness often transpire through people’s words and actions, through connection.

We’ve been taught self-love is immodest, vain, and full of conceit. This false narrative passed down through generations is a myth that needs some serious busting! Loving yourself is not egotistical. Believing beyond the shadow of a doubt you are good and worthy of love is the most unselfish, altruistic posture you can take. It’s your gift to the universe, delivered with a ginormous, gold sparkly bow.