The Yardstick of Judgment
You should see my calendar, especially this time of year. My days have too many events scheduled and with each deletion, I get a dose of pleasure. On the other hand, when items on my to-do list are not complete, I feel a tinge of failure, and stress; it’s one more thing I have to do tomorrow, which is already jam-packed.
I’ve battled the need to be productive since I became a mother, therefore busier.
I not only battle it, but I also embrace it, full-fledged, because I’m excellent at multi-tasking. Running and gunning fuels me. I thrive under pressure and thriving gives my ego a nice little boost. I get a thrill knowing I can handle it all!
The truth is, I don’t pack my day to the brim because it feels good. I do it to prove to myself I am capable. It makes me feel worthy. The erasures on my calendar indicate I am productive, therefore valuable, worthy, and lovable.
When I can do all those things perfectly, I’m extra valuable, worthy, and lovable! All lies.
Your level of productivity is not proportionate to your value or worth, and your lack of productivity does not mean you are less valuable or worthy. The number of scratches on your to-do list, the hours you work in an office, or time you spend folding laundry at home does not indicate your worth. Neither do your extravagant display of holiday lights or the spectacular centerpiece on your dining room table. Those are lovely but they do not define you.
Society can throw its yardstick of judgment into the abyss with the force of an Olympian launching a javelin. We do not have to achieve its nonsense measures.
It’s taking time to remove the message that the more I do and the more successful I am, the worthier I am, and the more worthy, the more lovable. It’s simply not true. Not for me, and not for you. Success and worth are mutually exclusive. One does not beget the other—you are worthy and lovable no matter what.
It’s impossible not to be worthy and lovable since you are a reflection of absolute glory, grace, and goodness, always and forever.
