The Spark
I always knew I would write a book but was stunted by fear after my first attempt in 2011. During a moment of crisis, I pulled up a fresh Word document and began typing away. I titled it My Life and wrote for one hour. I never added another word to that document.
A decade later, after another moment of crisis which lasted three years, I again felt compelled to honor my soul’s intention and started writing while running on my treadmill—pencil to paper, earbuds in, music blasting a couple decibels above the recommended level for healthy consumption.
I quickly learned that trying to write and run simultaneously does not work!
Running while listening to music provides a beautiful breeding ground for the convergence of physiological symptoms and spiritual knowledge. I am not sure what happens to my brain during this moving meditation but I suspect it has to do with the concurrent release of endorphins and steady, deep breathing which opens avenues of consciousness. Communing with the forest of Scrub Oaks I stare at in my front yard elevates this consciousness, heightening my connection to spirit. Then the music hits…
Drumming is a well-known, time-tested, and common form of gaining access to the unconscious. It’s used in spiritual circles to present humans with divine knowledge. The beat, mixed with lyrics, inspires spontaneous thoughts and the overall musical arrangement sparks feelings and emotions I do not possess otherwise. When these ingredients—biochemistry, spirituality, and musical ensemble—come together the inexplicable occurs. It’s a savory recipe for going deep into my soul and what crystallizes is nothing short of divine.
I am able to string thoughts, events, and life lessons together coherently so it’s relatable to someone else: to the spiritual seeker as well as the non-seeker.
The thoughts I have while running and listening to music are a collaboration of my earthly experience and the ethereal. The veil becomes thin. It’s a bridging of the gap: My life experience in conjunction with an undefinable knowing, an integration of my personal connection with a Higher Power and the energy of the collective. These understandings are useful for navigating this confusing place we call Earth, and for handling the struggles of the most challenging of challenges: relationships.
Over weeks and months, thoughts and ideas sparked fervidly and with constancy, like fireworks: bright and beautiful, fast, and furious. As quickly as they came was as quickly as they departed, so talking into my phone incessantly and scribbling ideas on whatever bits of paper were within reach became habitual. My ability to shut the thoughts down was nonexistent. My brain was firing on all cylinders.
Soon my fingers were rapping the letters of my laptop with the voracity of a concert pianist hammering keys—striking chords forever lodged in the nooks of my heart and mind.
I am not an anomaly; you may experience the spark too. The question is: What do you do with it? For me, this persistent pouring out culminated in a two-year-long collaboration with a team of award-winning professionals to self-publish my debut inspirational memoir, Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go. It’s a heart wrenching yet celebratory story of breaking chains of generational family dysfunction by healing grief and trauma with compassion, forgiveness, and love. This healing comes in the form of nonnegotiable love for self and others and organically results in an unwillingness to self-abandon when the going gets rough. It leads to trusting yourself to show up for yourself and others no matter what pain may be coming down the pike.
Secure in emotions, you are safe to dig deep and call upon the power within to see you through life’s struggles—power that will heal you, and the world.
For when you heal, I heal, and when we heal, the world heals. (More to come on that…)
