Keepers of the Peace
After witnessing a tense interface between strangers, my nine-year-old daughter asked, “What if the only language was, ‘Hey, I love you?’”
What if? Actually, why not? Why not use your humble power to create a positive interaction while in a tense situation?
Responding in a way that serves the whole, not just yourself, consistently, will help you to trust yourself to show up peacefully, no matter the situation.
Concoct a situation in your mind where you might react poorly. For example, a child checks your kid too hard on the hockey rink. You can react or you can respond. Let’s break it down…
A reaction is immediate and emotionally charged, motivated by the ego. A response is postponed and thoughtful, usually steeped in humility. If you react by advancing aggressively towards the child’s parent intending to show them who’s boss, you may get into a shouting match, or worse, a fist fight. Or if the parent does not react, you strut away feeling a false sense of pride. Later, if you have a conscience (which I am most certain you do), you regret it. Everyone loses—especially the children who witnessed the volatile exchange. If you take time you respond, pausing to consider your options and select thoughtful, humble words and actions that express concern for both children, I bet you will walk away having made a new acquaintance.
Check your motives when choosing a rebuttal.
Reflect on what you want to happen. What are you looking to achieve? Do you want to aggravate the situation or bring peace? Will you react or respond? Then set an intention. Your intention will affect the outcome greatly. Negative or positive, your intention will help to bring about the desired effect, so make it positive.
Choose your posture and words carefully as you approach the parent who checked your kid too hard. Remember your intention and stay open to the result. With your quiet confidence in place, approach the parent with a smile and a hand shake. Disarm them immediately, then speak from your heart. You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
Be the keepers of the peace, and when there’s no peace to keep, make it.
We do not have to show up guns blazing. We can show up armed with powerful humility, firm in our power, grounded in love. We can create a welcoming space where the other party can meet us in peace if they choose to. Sometimes it will work out well, sometimes it won’t.
Either way, you’ll always feel good about yourself afterward.
