A Quick Fix

Humans have a basic instinct for social interaction; connection makes us feel good. It’s a primitive need and its rewards are scientific. It explains why I went against my early COVID-19 manifesto and attended a few in-person events with friends, even hugging some people against my better judgment.

Dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter in the brain is the impetus for most of our behavior. As human beings, we function mainly in search of rewards delivered through a pleasurable dopamine “hit.” These hits arrive with feelings and expressions of love when you select a thought or action based in tenderness. There is scientific evidence proving this link.

A 2005 study by Fisher, et. al., reports that a dopamine-rich area of the brain lights up when people are shown pictures of romantic partners, triggering the good feeling associated with receiving a reward. The reward is a feeling of connection.

Connection, or kindling for the exchange of loving-kindness, releases dopamine.

I’m not a scientist, but I think it’s safe to trust that experiential love during social interaction is also a driving force for connection. If dopamine is released with the expression of love (and I am going to go out on a limb and include kindness), is it possible to focus our thoughts on these sentiments enough to where we retrain our brains to constantly seek connection?

Can sharing in joy and in suffering with compassion replace our current cues for rewards like consumerism, drug addiction, and money? Can seeking connection on a consistent basis create an addiction to morality, purposeful living, and higher consciousness, instead of short-lived, often impulsive, shallow gratification?

Can we swap the motivation which drives harmful actions (the ones we choose while in hot pursuit of a quick fix) for lasting, meaningful connection?

There is another intoxicating chemical we are addicted to: Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the connection chemical, and it feels as pleasurable as dopamine, if not better. It’s even better than adrenaline! Judith E. Glaser of Harvard Business Review says this about these feel-good chemicals. “Luckily, there’s another hormone that can feel just as good as adrenaline: oxytocin. It’s activated by human connection, and it opens up the networks in our executive brain, or prefrontal cortex, further increasing our ability to trust and open ourselves to sharing.”

Activating oxytocin through connection will make you want to continue connecting. The more you connect, the more oxytocin is released. Your mind, possessed by connection, provides the reward.