Let’s Be Honest
Who are you? How honest are you about your character, the inner workings of your heart and mind?
It’s easier to portray an outward show of honesty than it is to get honest within. It is easier to be honest when counting the drawer and handing over the money at the end of my shift than it is to consider how far I went to accommodate my customers. Getting honest with myself about why I took an action (or about my inaction) is the hard part.
I’m not talking about dishonesty such as giving an excuse for why you don’t want to go to the high school reunion. I’m talking about dishonesty as it relates to what we tell ourselves about personal fears or deficiencies, and about motives.
If you don’t want to go to the reunion, there is nothing dishonest about that. The reason you tell yourself for not wanting to go to the reunion is the distinction between honesty and dishonesty. If you tell yourself you’re too busy, but the real reason is you don’t want to see the people that will be there, you must get honest with yourself about why you don’t want to see those people. Or, if you tell yourself you want to be class mom because you want to spend time with your child, but you really feel like you have something to prove to the teacher, to other parents, and to yourself, you need to look at that.
Honesty is far easier exemplified in the doing (the show) than it is in the being (your character).
A great time to practice self-honesty is when someone calls you out, when they question your character or beliefs. Even if they are wrong about you, it’s wise to investigate their claims in case there is a kernel of truth to it. Ask yourself, is their opinion valid? Seek your Higher Power and ask for courage to dive deep. Once you get so uncomfortably honest with yourself, identify both what is true and what is false about their accusation. Change what needs to be changed and discard the rest.
Maintain internal boundaries by deciding how much power you are going to give the claim. Set emotional limits on how long you will allow your head and your heart to ruminate on someone else’s opinion of you. Figure out where you draw the line between searching for accuracy and self-abandonment. Yes, most likely whatever they say has more to do with them than you but dismissing everything they say does not serve your personal development. These times are an opportunity to get unequivocally honest with yourself so you can locate and change certain characteristics that do not serve you or the world well.
Self-compassion is a must if you intend to conduct a thorough search of your flaws for truth; it’s possible to be accountable and love yourself simultaneously.
This is not an exercise in beating yourself up. You must be gentle with yourself as you go through this process to allow loving-kindness to reach you in order to do better next time. Love yourself anyway, no matter the mistakes you make or the unsavory parts of your personality.
This is some of the most difficult work you will do while on your journey to becoming your Highest Self, but it is also the most rewarding.
Can you see your character elevating like Sylvester Stallone sprinting up the steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art with the Rocky theme song playing?
I can.
